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Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
UGH.........where do I even start? I've been going through a really tough time this week sadly. One positive thing (or so I thought) of me being home for the holidays was that I was actually sleeping again. I know it sounds weird, but when I was at Bluffton, I would fall asleep, and then it felt like I woke up five minutes later. This lasted for months. About a couple of days after being home, I had a really cool dream that was set up like a movie (like all of my dreams)that I would love to tell right now, but 1. I don't just wanna tell it, I want to write it down like a story, and 2. I'm kinda tired right now, and I wanna get what happened last night out of my head (hopefully).

So last night, I fell asleep with the tv on, and woke up, watched a little tv, then fell back asleep. when I fell asleep again, I had a "nightmare". I don't know if anyone else would call it a nightmare, and I know I wouldn't have if only it hadn't involved HIM. Yes, the horrible ex, Cory. Now it feels like even when I haven't thought of him in months, he manages to sneak back into my live. WHY CAN'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?!?! Anyways, here's the "nightmare"

So it starts out at a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with all my family (even the ones I never see). For some reason, my mom had invited Cory, thinking that we were still dating. Well sure as hell, it was awkward. So then, everyone quiets down, and my mom calmly announces that I am pregnant, and Cory is the father (how she knows this when I don't, I don't know. How I *holdsbackvomit* slept with Cory, I don't know or want to know.)So I burst into tears and run to a nearby room & hide in the closet. A couple minutes later, Cory comes into the room, and tells me that whatever I choose, he'll support me, and he was sorry, and then, we started to cuddle. Now, I'm the kind of person who doesn't even want to kill spiders (even though they're gross), so of course I would never even think about abortion, not even in my dreams. So then, it goes into montage mode, and basically fast forwards to me having the baby. yay. So we found a couple to adopt the baby, and we were going to give the baby away, and it was really sad and emotional scene when we had to give Alice away (yes, I really, really, really wanna name my first daughter Alice). I told him how I was worried that I would never have my daughter (I only want 1 or 2 kids, and I really want a daughter), but at the same time, I didn't want to replace her. So then he proposed to me and then the dream flashed forward to 18 years later. We had been happily married, and had twin boys, Jackson and James (ok, I know I just said, I want a couple kids, but I either want 2 girls or 1 girl and twin boys. I know, I know, I'm picky!)So, now we've tracked down Alice, and finally met her, and she forgave us, and we kept in touch all the time and blah blah blah...........

Ugh...I'm sick of even thinking about this anymore. I'm not normally into dream symbolism because my dreams normally aren't this coherent, but I can think of some reasons I might have had this dream: Last night, I watched an episode of House (I'm addicted) where several babies were sick; I watched Knocked Up a week ago, and Cory's a bigger guy with curly hair, kinda like Seth Rogen; I've always had a really strong maternal instinct; I even went and cried in the closet in my dream the other day when I was upset. The ONLY thing I can't explain is, drumroll please, Cory. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And my headache's gotten worse, so I'm gonna go to sleep now.


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